December 21, 2010
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I stayed up late to watch the eclipse. I would have stayed up late regardless, but it felt good to have a reason to be awake other than simply restlessness. At a certain point, the moon moved so that I couldn't see it out my window, so I had to keep running out of the apartment. When I was inside, I was watching Shopgirl and wrapping Christmas gifts. Earlier this evening I started reading a book that's on my reading list for next term. I'm taking a class on Chick Lit and Postfeminism - so I'm reading this. So far it's lovely. I am explaining this because I think this is less sad and nerdy than if I were spending my Christmas break reading Chaucer or something.
Earlier still, I went to the stupid mall to buy stupid jeans, because I ripped my one good pair (and I'm not opposed to wearing jeans with holes but a girl has got to have at least one pair of pants that her grandmothers will not insist upon patching). I never invest in jeans, really. I kind of hate them - and I hate shopping for them. So I always buy some cheap dumb pair and then they fall apart and then I have to buy another cheap dumb pair and on and on and on. Sigh. Anyway, today I think I came a step closer to reforming my pants-shopping ways. Why am I writing about this?
I'm a bit frustrated with clothing in general, lately. In the last few months, getting dressed has started to feel like a chore. I've stopped wearing makeup almost entirely. That has become a very strange debate in my head. I feel like I should be opposed to the idea that I have to literally cover up my actual face in order to feel comfortable. And I am opposed to that idea, sort of, but part of me has always really enjoyed makeup and also I can't deny that the whole thing makes me feel a bit prettier and what is wrong with that, really? I don't know. But lately I get up in the morning and look at all my bottles and brushes and just can't perform all the mental gymnastics necessary to get me to put anything on my face - so I don't.
As for clothes, though, there's no debate. I'm just... bored. Maybe it's time to really re-consider my wardrobe or start being more deliberate about where I am getting inspiration or... something. I don't know.
I expected that I'd quickly get all antsy being alone in the apartment, but so far it's just a relief. The quiet and the privacy, combined with finally being free of all academic responsibility, feels like the first breath after being held underwater.
h.
Comments (1)
I read "the girl's guide" when I was in Berlin. I sort of picked it up on a whim and I think I read the whole thing in two days. I remember really like it - though I can't recall a single detail why.
For me, enchantment with clothes and makeup comes in waves. I'll wear wacky eyeliner every day for two weeks and then not again for a month. I'll put together little outfits for one season, the next I'll spend in tees and one of two pair of jeans. Two years ago I was wearing a different pair of heels every day (and everywhere I went). This year I've worn my combat boots 6 days out of 7. It's like farmers leaving a field fallow; you have to let yourself replenish interest.
But no matter which way you look at it, shopping for jeans SUCKS. And the money isn't the problem; one of my favourite pairs was $16 in the boys section at Giant Tiger. People are always asking where I got them and they are holding up marvelously. No, the problem is that pants are made to fit about 3 basic body types (out of the millions out there) with some lycra to disguise that fact. Have you tried men's jeans? They've come a long way in terms of shape and fit (no longer all straight-hipped GWGs) and they tend to be lycra-free so you'll actually have an idea of what they'll look like after a couple of washes. H&M has a good selection and they aren't a fortune, either... just a thought.
x.g.
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