March 4, 2011

• Relief

   

  
  I got into graduate school. I received an email this morning, and a letter is on its way. I applied to four schools and this is the first I've heard back from--of the four, it isn't my first choice, but it's a very good choice all the same. It's a huge relief to know that, even if nobody else accepts me, I have somewhere to go. I will become a librarian. It's happening. 

  It's hard not to be antsy for time to pass. These months of the year are always the hardest--it's heartbreakingly cold and you're neck-deep in work and the end still seems impossibly far away. But there are so many good things on the other side of these two months. My mom and I are planning a trip. It's something she's been talking about for ages--the two of us doing something special after I graduate--but I was never sure if it would happen for real, or if it was just a really lovely idea.  A really interesting summer job sort of threw itself in my path a few weeks ago. I won't hear about it for a while, but it could mean a much bigger adventure than anything I'd imagined I'd be in for this summer--and I'd love that. 

  And beyond the summer, there's library school. Somewhere. 

  
  

  But in the meantime there is still so much to enjoy. I forget this sometimes. Last night a bunch of us gathered in the apartment next door--we ate ice cream and talked for hours. I laughed so hard I felt sick. I have, in these four years, come to know so many beautiful people, and my time with them is limited. I can be anxious to move on or I can slow down while I'm here--linger at the kitchen table a little longer, stay up a little later, eat a little more ice cream--and know that all that lies ahead is taken care of. My work there, for now, is done, and I am going to be okay. 

  
  

  h.

   

  • 3:11 am
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