February 10, 2011

  • Midnight

    But these days something is always bringing me to my knees. I have given myself to feeling fully—to letting every wave of everything hit me with all its force. I have forever willed my heart to be gentler, not in the way it feels for things (because I am not sorry for fearing or grieving or loving fiercely) but in the way these things become a part of me, the way they live inside my bones and wake me up at night. Sometimes I wonder how much my body and my mind can hold. But they hold. So I will fill them.

    I‘ve been reading Plato’s Cratylus for an etymology paper. I am still so far in over my head, but it is good exercise for my brain and my room is quiet and there's fresh air coming in from the open window and outside the city and the sky have blended and at the right angle I am suspended in stars. 

    This peace will have left me by morning, but I’ll embrace it while it’s here.

    h.