July 5, 2013
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H is for…
I am letting the sun set on an unfinished chapter, and I am discouraged. I have been working on this one for too long, and it isn’t hard – I am just tired, scattered, and worried. July is the month in which everything happens. This entire document needs to be finished in just over three weeks. I tell myself over and over that it will be fine, and it will be – I am on schedule, everything is going very smoothly, and there is no reason to panic. But I do panic. There is so much to remember, to think about, and what if what if. Increasingly I wake up ill, with a lurching stomach and a tight chest. I tell myself it is is not reasonable or helpful to be so worried – because it isn’t, and this will all get done – but my body doesn’t listen.
I like this work. I’ve been saying it all along, and it is always true, but holy crap.
h.
