October 26, 2011
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On Sunday morning I woke up to a text message from my dad, wondering if I was busy this weekend. He found himself with four days off and wanted to visit (he is very much a last-minute-plans kind of guy--I am not). I am busy, and I don't say that lightly. I don't remember the last time I went to sleep before 3 a.m., and the list of things I need to do that are undone is long (and I am not complaining--I signed up for this, and I mostly enjoy it, but it's all a very fragile balance). But I told him to come, because how do you say no to your father wanting to fly across the country to see you?
I don't write about my family very often, and I would like to keep it that way. But for anyone who has been following, the last few years have been rocky for all of us. They are less rocky now, and I am less afraid, and while last year a visit like this would have sent me into total paralysis, this year I am kind of excited. (Fragile balance aside.)
This summer, my dad called me every Wednesday to tell me the Joke of the Week from his weekly staff meetings. The jokes were always awful. The first time he told me one, I laughed for five minutes--not because it was funny, but because it was terrible and my dad sounded so gleeful on the phone and last year I could hardly talk to him and now he's telling me jokes and it's nice to hear his voice and I missed him. Miss him. He called with a joke once a week for the rest of the summer.
A lot is different now, and better. Which is not to say that I don't worry--I do. But not like I used to. It has as much to do with changes in him as it does with changes in me.
Ultimately, I am looking forward to showing him my life here, because I am proud of this thing I am creating.
3 a.m. bedtimes and all.
h.
Comments (2)
I'm glad he's coming, h, and glad you're *there* (do you know what I mean?). Whatever else is going on with him (and I know there is a lot) so many of the little anecdotes you've told over the years point to the fact he's a good man and loves you very much. And while that doesn't excuse anything, it's good to weigh it with the rest.
Have a wonderful time.
x.g.
btw, you still owe me an update on other things, so don't forget...
this makes my heart warm. i'm glad you have him, you know? no matter what, he's your dad. and i know i say this all too often when the subject comes up about fathers, but when you lose one at the age of eleven, it makes you feel good when someone else writes tenderly about theirs. (if that sentence made any sense) ~ have a lovely time, fragile though it may be. ~ and yes, you have a lot to be proud of, what all you've done and what you're taking on now. <3
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